1/11/12

A NEW YEAR’S BABY & CHARACTER SKETCHES


When a prisoner swallows a bunch of Double A batteries he’s taken to a red cell to see what will pass and since healthcare is in the same building, the lowest seniority nurse (this is conjecture on my part) waits for the phone call to sort through the shit with latex gloves.

But that was 2011.

We rang in the New Year with a razor blade swallower in five-point restraints and mitts because he kept trying to re-open his wounds as if maybe he’d forgotten just how much he’d ingested.

Then we had the arrival of our first New Year’s baby, an infant-convicted-felon-man who likes wearing diapers and soiling himself. According to his prison file he enjoyed his role-playing so much that he built an adult-sized crib and forced innocent children to partake in his fantasy world.
 
… And I am left speechless.

This should be an interesting year.

*Mental note: Work on character development.

8 comments:

the walking man said...

Yep good move that was closing the prison for the insane and sending them to general population. Of course you get less pay for babysitting than you do for teaching. Ahh It's Always Christmas in This Wonderful Life.

Charles Gramlich said...

Love the pic, man. YOu could be a character in a British movie for children.

jodi said...

J.R.-- that's some crazy stuff. You couldn't make it up. The pic? Hmmmm, you are so much cuter than that, that, that thing!

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Talk about the underworld.

There is a scene out of an old Fritz the Cat movie, where a sewer denizen is told, "You do some weird shit, man!"

Anonymous said...

Great writing. The pic even more so...MW

Anonymous said...

Good Luck in the new year. Make sure you remind your new student to use baby powder. W.W.

Andy said...

That reminds me of some of the guys in community based group home facilities. Maybe your guys are learning that it's the squeeky wheel that gets the grease. Every hear of NGRI (not guilty by reason of insanity)? They bypass prison, I hear, but the few free standing psych faciliies are no picnic either. And I thought I had it bad!

Rick said...

They should have their own restaurant, JR. Oh wait, they do. And we have to pay for it.