I’m not much of a fisherman, not with my free boat on land. Yeah “free”—all eleven feet, eight inches of it; christened The WW Blue Light Special. It has reinforced seats with copper penny washers, a wine-cork drain plug, and a 7-hp Montgomery Ward pull-start motor. Does the boat float? I’m hoping to soon find out.
When I approached the female worker at the Michigan Secretary of State, I put in my request. “I’d like to register my boat and buy a license plate for the trailer.” I handed her a New York boat registration from the previous owner.
She examined the piece of paper as if I’d given her a foreign object from another universe. “I need the make of the boat and hull number.” She slid the paper across the counter.
It’s a frickin’ row boat, I wanted to say. Instead I asked, “Isn’t it on the old registration?”
She folded her arms, waited.
“Also,” I said, trying to break the tension, “I need a plate for the boat trailer.”
“What’s the GVW?” she asked.
“The GV what?”
“Grosse Vehicle Weight, Sir.”
“It was a trailer kit from Harbor Freight. I suppose I could get that information off the box.”
“Sir,” she said, “You have to have your trailer weighed at an authorized place before you can get a license plate.”
I left the Secretary of State defeated, demoralized, like I’d suddenly let the big one get away. Once I arrived home I examined the NY registration and matched the printed numbers on it with the actual hull number on the boat. Also, a quick internet search revealed the boat’s manufacturer which was abbreviated on the registration.
Upon my return to the Secretary of State I timed my approach so as to avoid the lady from hell. This time I didn’t ask for a license plate; instead, I borrowed one from a family member. Now I'm a registered boat owner. Now I need a hitch for my car. And an anchor. And … God knows what else.
*****
More fishing: Possible review of my chapbook.
13 comments:
It will be worth the hassle once you’re in your boat but, jeez, the bureaucracy & forms to fill out for every damn thing we own! A government money-maker. Happy fishing.
Hope the review takes place – and that it’s a good one!
That is a sweet looking boat, a quality watercraft with a fitting name. You are assured many fine hours of relaxation and fishing pleasure. I hope you and MW get her wet soon. Maybe you could take a large blonde woman and use her for the anchor, but then she may be too bouyant. Floating anchors don't work so well. You could always put a lot of cement around her feet. Did I go too far? I'm sorry if I did. Have a big fish fry with all of the fish you catch, and I hope to get an invitation. Remember a bad day fishing is always better than a good day at work. Good luck.
You're gonna need an ice chest in that boat once you get it afloat.
I have a brace if Newfoundlanders in my blogroll. They are a taciturn, funny Maritime people.
One was wondering why Scuba divers dove in backwards, tank first.
"that's easy," said one. If you were to go in frontwards you'd brain yourself on the raised foc's'cle.
Is it possible that your civil servant had Newfie ancestry? :)
The book looks great! When does it come out? Never mind my stupid questions...I'll go back and look again.
I'm so jealous of your boat. I have a canoe. Somebody told me I'm supposed to register it. Register a freaking canoe? The state can kiss my ass. I just paid for a new fishing license. They've got enough of my money.
JR- a thousand years ago when I worked at AAA in the licencing department, I WAS that woman! I know there is no where more annoying! Fish on, I say!
I say a jug filled with quickcrete tied to a rope makes for a grat anchor. Boat looks sweet.
Great name. Mark the fathoms and let's go fishin' Huck
Just don't pull that plug and you won't have to find out if she is what she is... or not is...
Nice metaphors here.
They say there are 2 days when you truly love your boat. The day you buy it & the day you sell it. My ex & I had a boat like that. We ended up stranded a mile or so out in Lake Erie when the engine failed. Oh, the memories! (I hope yours work out better than ours. And I hope the bitch you wasn't very helpful has an interesting life.)
Oh man, this one begs for a video recreation! Too funny . . . All I want is my $2! Imagine what the Chippewa would have to say about their canoes and dugouts having to be registered . . .
This sounds like a Franz Kafka moment, JR! Nice that when I come back from a sabbatical (finishing my new novel) to see that you've come back, too.
Hey Rick, For whatever reason (too many to list here) I haven't been as successful on those longer projects. Keep me in the loop regarding that novel!
Hello Mr. Woodman. Guys, I think I know where to find a large (slow) blonde woman.
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