Teacher Appreciation Week has ended.
I GOT CALLED into the school office regarding Prisoner Kerby. The “Powers that Be” yanked his parole after reading his school file. The puzzle palace, aka Lansing, wanted an explanation as to why he should be kept in prison. Thus I, during my half-hour lunch break, provided documentation I’m sure they already had. “He signed three waiver forms,” I said, “waiving his right to an education.” His last evaluation (call it Exhibit D if you will) stated the obvious:
Prisoner Kerby refuses to go to school and should have been on “00” Status (which I doubt has happened). He is not interested in improving his academic skills. Once again, I am requesting he be placed on “00” Status. Also, remove from my class roster. Writing “Out of Place” tickets has not influenced him to attend. Will take back: No.
The last sentence in my report was probably interpreted as “my denying him an education”. I'm sure his parole was reinstated.
I GOT QUESTIONED as to why I wrote an “Insolence, Violation of a Posted Rule” ticket on Prisoner Vasquez for leaving a banana peel in a computer hutch. The sergeant asked, “Why would you include insolence?”
I quoted the rulebook: “Words, actions, or other behavior which is intended to harass, degrade, or cause alarm in an employee.” I explained how the infraction bumps the charges up to a major instead of a minor.
“Then you should’ve wrote him a ‘Disobeying a Direct Order” ticket.”
At the beginning of class Prisoner Vasquez had waved the banana in my face, showing me how pissed off he was about an “Out of Place” ticket I had written on him the previous day. I told him to take the banana back to his cell at break time. From past experience, I know he would’ve beaten the “DDO” ticket. Who’s to say he didn’t take the banana back to his unit for a friendly stroll. The ticket I wrote was thrown out.
I GOT A REFRIGERATOR MAGNET.
Teacher Appreciation Week has ended.
11 comments:
“Then you should’ve wrote him a ‘Disobeying a Direct Order” ticket.”
They talk that way at the school office?
LOL
Just another day at the office eh?
Ivan, we are a paramilitary organization. What I should've said: "Prisoner Vasquez, I am giving you a direct order to take that banana back to your cell and LEAVE IT THERE." Too bad the prisoners don't like to play Simon Says. I could've written a "Violation of a Safety Hazard" if he had tossed the banana peel on the floor. Usually I save that rule for leaning back in a chair. Wouldn't want them to fall backward and hurt their noggin'. Might get sued for that.
Regardless of my week and the outcome, I got a refrigerator magnet. Nevermind that I'm about to get screwed on my pension and salary.
Cynicism and frustration trump bureaucracy and teacher appreciation.
Smile when you look at that magnet (if you haven’t tossed it). Let it be a reminder that you’re doing your best in a challenging situation. That’s what counts.
Good words from Beth.
I guess the staff have to be punished, as well. Perhaps you need to wear mirrored sunglasses & a "Milgram" nametag to identify yourself as one of the "good guys." *snort*
I never got a magnet. I only got a screwin', without even getting kissed. I guess we can't have it all can we?
It never ceases to baffle me how they'll defend an inmate and question you, the one who is on the front lines putting up with the crap day after day. Where is their common sense? I guess that's a rhetorical question.
JR! watch out, that bandana could end up around your neck. This is some scary shit you deal with!
Jodi, are you skimming again? My fault when you write about walking a banana around the block and returning with the peel.
I have heard of albatrosses.
I think I would have quietly wrapped the banana in sandwich foil and trashed it.
There would be no bouquet of evidence.
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