NORMAL FAMILY

Reading Chrysta Bilton’s memoir Normal Family is like running with scissors, cutting up every page, wondering how unconventional and how dysfunctional can this family be? And when does this family reach semi-normalcy? The prologue starts with a siblings’ reunion, and what follows is a story of how a mother’s plan spun out of control resulting in thirty-five siblings meeting years later for the very first time.

Near the beginning, Chrysta’s mother, Debra, tells her:

We choose our parents before we are born. You were just a little soul flying up in the sky, and you looked down at all the mommies you could have been born to, and you chose to come through me because your soul needs to learn something it can only get through our relationship—and my soul needs to learn something through you. Do you understand? We are great teachers for each other.

In her writing of Debra, Chrysta serves up her mother’s life experiences as if they are small homemade cookies on a tray, and that you should carefully choose the ones that aren’t too overdone. Take your pick: smoking hash with Leonard Cohen in the mountains of Idra, Greece, making out with Anita Pallenberg in a limousine, or inspiring the lyrics for the Rolling Stones in a Bel-Air hotel room with Mick Jagger.

Such memories. And what about Chrysta’s on-again, off-again, father? Here is a tidbit:

In their early years, and under the influence of their mother, Chrysta and her sister, Kaitlyn, made Golden Memory Boxes to remember their father, Jeffrey—he visited mostly on the holidays for photo ops and gift-giving, incentivized by their mother’s generous donations of money. But let’s get one thing straight—Jeffrey is unforgettable in the grand scheme of things.

I highly recommend reading Normal Family; Enjoy the ride. No matter how much planning goes into creating the ideal family, just remember, it will get complicated, and boundaries will be blurred. Or as Debra would say, You can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.

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