 |
| OLD RESIDENT |
 |
| NEW RESIDENT |
RULES OF THE CELL
You will need to sign this
agreement before I allow you to live here. FIRST,
you must realize that you are not my bunky yet. Neither are you considered a
guest, or a good buddy. I see you as an intruder on my turf and I can’t stand
the fact that you have shown up at my door. I DO NOT LIKE YOU.
THE RULES
1. You will keep the
area and floor clean. Do not come in here smelling like someone shit on you. If
you fart in my presence you will DIE.
You will shower (using soap) once daily in the winter and twice daily in the
summer. You will brush your teeth when you awake, after you eat, at
bedtime or any time I indicate that your breath smells like shit!
2. The desk(s) are
mine, unless I tell you which one you can use or if I allow you to use one.
3. The window is my
responsibility. I will control the
window. You do not have a window; neither do you have a light. If you need
light for any reason wait for it to come through my window or until I turn on the light. Don’t ask to use a light. Don’t think about asking to open or close or modify
the window.
4. The walls are
mine. Do not attempt to hang any pictures without asking. The bulletin boards
are mine. If there is something already posted on them, leave them the fuck
alone! The same requirements apply equally to the bulletin boards as the walls.
5. The chair(s) are
mine! DON'T ask to use them. Don’t
bump them or touch them or even think about using them to pull across the floor
while I am sleeping or you will die!
6. If you see a
radio, fan, TV, or anything else that is not yours, keep your fucking hands off
of it. If it is not yours, DO NOT TOUCH
IT! Or you will die.
7. I do not wake
anyone for work, call-outs or chow. If you miss work or meals, fuck you. I do
not come and get you for anyone. Fuck you, your homeboys, your cousins, your
friends, and whoever else may want you.
8. I do not provide
for you, only for me. Buy your own cigarettes, matches, coffee, cosmetics and
food. You will provide for you. Do not eat in this room, roll your tongue,
insinuate you are hungry or ask me what is for chow. If you are hungry, fuck
you! If I am hungry, feed me.
9. Never snore,
whistle, or jingle keys. Never sing, tap your feet or snap your fingers to
music, either real or imagined.
10. I do not want to
hear anything about your sentence, your private life or your case, unless you
pay me to listen to your shit. FUCK
your case, and fuck your small talk. I do not give a fuck about you or about
how doing this time drives you crazy. We all want out, we all want booze, dope
and a piece of ass.
11. DO NOT ASK PERSONAL QUESTIONS AT ALL! Your Pre-sentence Investigation Report (PSI) SHALL be placed on your locker shelf
for my inspection at any time I may wish or desire to review it. EVERYTHING in
the locker is yours including anything
I shall desire to place there and you shall take full responsibility for it if
asked by anyone.
12. Never bring
anyone to this cell while I am sleeping. If I am sleeping and your bullshit
noise wakes me, prepare to fight for your life!
13. Never bring a
joint or any type of drug into this cell without telling me first. If you are
taking medication tell me now what it is, what side affects it has and I (not you) will determine if you will
take it or give it to me for proper disposal.
14. You, your family,
your friends may feel free to put money in my account at any time for any
reason.
15. These rules are
subject to change without your foreseen knowledge or even my indicating that
they have changed. If you don’t like my rules, fuck you! Remember, you are an
intruder in my cell and I
make the rules, NOT you, (clown)!
16. If by my
determining you are just one stupid, ignorant, illiterate punk and cannot read,
I will read these rules to you. If you do not know how to spell your fucking name when
you sign this, place an X on the dotted line and your prison number after the
X.
Sign below to indicate that
you have read and understand these rules, or place an X with your number after
it.
Signed:
……………………………………………………….
12 comments:
Unless of course you are bigger than me?
Bigger doesn't count Charles the Old Resident knows where he has his shank hidden and where the other beat down stuff is at. The new Resident doesn't know shit other than his crew s out in the yard or somewhere else and if he is a really new resident he doesn't even have a crew.
Everywhere has a pecking order and everywhere establishes it in the way that is best suited to the environment.
JR-i suppose telling him to kiss my ass wouldn't fly...
Reads like a prenup.... :)
Hucks Gang
Sorry, nothing can help. Only sure how much you will find the right solution. [url = http://tutledy.ru/o-muzhskom-tele.html] about male body [/url]
That's what the Russian translates to. Looks like an ad for male enhancement. More vodka doesn't help. Just ask Ivan. Enjoyed the read JR. Have to agree with the gang. Huck :-)
Wow lots going on here. JR, TWM hits it right on the money. Seems like some agreements even when signed for have to be enforced. In prison that can mean a whole lot of something....messy... messy...
Enjoy your stories and spin. MW
If it were that easy to do time, everybody would be a career criminal. Seniority is sacred in our society, even in institutions set up to create better criminals.
Nice work. Keep it coming!
Now I wonder which prison that is...
Reading Baudrillard Simulations, I think all the prisons out there make us 'hallucinate' that we who are outside them , are free beings...
Ps. Even I have started following the advice give in the poem that we read about using the word 'fuck' ;D
Hey Jim, hope all is well. Or, well enough, at least. Cheers.
Why you [URL=http://www.needbuyjordans.com]Cheap Air Jordans[/URL] need to fork out on quality footwear
If you find that walking is painful, then it may be that you need to purchase better designed shoes.Although this will be expensive in the short term, in the end, the rewards will be immense.Cheap shoes will need replacing more oftencheap shoes are made of a very low quality.For this reason, they break much more easily than more expensive shoes do.They develop holes, they wear quickly, and they generally appear more raggedy in a shorter space of time.Although cheap shoes will cost less in the short term, you will have to buy shoes more often, which in the long term, can end up costing more.You need to speculate to accumulate.The benefits of wearing more expensive shoesalthough not always the case, the more expensive the shoe, the better the quality and design of the shoes.Certain brands of footwear, such as gabor shoes, are well known for their quality.All of their shoes undergo rigorous testing to ensure that they are ergonomically sound, and also resistant to wear and tear.In fact, brands like gabor shoes are so good at manufacturing footwear, that they prove popular throughout the world for their level of expertise.It is important to always purchase shoes that are made by a well-Respected brand that is known [URL=http://www.need-airjordans.com]Cheap Retro Jordans[/URL] within the footwear industry for their attention to detail and their high levels of engineering.Such shoes will help to prevent all of the problems listed above by bullet point.They will also last significantly longer than their sub-Standard counter parts.
Personal [URL=http://csxstore.com/index2.aspx?4][b]louis vuitton vernis alma[/b][/URL] training different ways to pick out a copy handbag
If you opt for used.Internet based, you should have a look from these folks, in advance of choosing, and so always employ efficient internet websites, you realize and even get in earlier times.On the internet, similar resources and materials may cost perhaps even more cost-Effective afterward at a shop, beginning with $200.Most favored patterns are sometimes made will be gucci bags, louis vuitton initialed or monogrammed bags, yves st.Laurent handbags, balenciaga bags of course birkin bag produced using the same.Possibly quite a few knick nacks market normally fabricated using, that could be better yet method [URL=http://www.mahatranscom.in/index2.aspx][b]louis vuitton zippy[/b][/URL] suitable for you, once you might give them a go for, notice these products to see every single information.Costs through retailers can be as compared to internet.
An additional way to purchase a decent look-Alike handbag could be to foremost make a decision when and where considering aiming to use it.You can begin practicing nightime bag, a clutch i465(As an illustration jimmy choo)Will perform the secret to success.If you require some saturday and sunday bag * birkin bag or maybe louis vuitton are the best ones.Alternatively when you need your bag for the purpose of give good results, in addition to on a daily basis wandering for the area:Use any gucci and even balenciaga replacement.Positive thing is they are usually discounted so its possible to obtain a couple of and even incorporate these products as per your wants.Even check what is also another components of your main clothing collection, and also intermix your bag around with them.It should match an individual's shoes and boots and also completely style.
Lastly important things it's best to deal with, even when investing in fake is that this effortless query as does an individual will need an additional bag?Given that, regardless how low-Priced it is, holistic acne desire one other bag, it a complete waste of cash.For everybody who is always decided to buy, continually go with a reproduction it does not take a look photoshopped and prevent your counterfeit buckskin varieties(Blank)They'll not bode well upon you.
Did she drop you as well?Just wondering!
Post a Comment