1/25/12

POINT BLANK










We all come to a moment in life when one action is pivotal, when one decision becomes the catalyst that takes away years of future decisions. —Amy Fisher “If I Knew Then…” p.73
No physical harm came my way; I wasn’t shot in the neck like Mary Jo Buttafuoco with a defective handgun. Still, that doesn’t mean the thumb didn’t pull back the hammer or that the finger didn’t squeeze the trigger. In fact, the psychological weapon had been loaded for well over sixteen years with yours truly dead in its crosshairs. We’re not talking about some self-centered, rebellious, adolescent kid without a plan. Or are we?
I’ve been told again and again: In time, JR, in time. You will heal from your wounds.
Here’s what Amy Fisher had to say regarding Mary Jo Buttafuoco accepting her apology and giving her a second chance at life:
Forgiveness is a wonderful trait. I think that when we forgive people for some wrong, it makes us better people. I think forgiveness is nice if you can bring yourself to honestly feel it. p.284
So Amy Fisher matured. She learned some valuable lessons along the way. It hadn’t been easy for her. Here’s what she had to say about raising a family:
Today’s economy demands a two-income household to get ahead … p.240,
and discovering her self-worth:
We know at a certain age that we’re going to have to get a job, that we’re going to function in society, that we’re going to have to be productive members of that society, so I’m doing what society tells me I’m supposed to do as a human being. I am fulfilling my role as a little gear in the system. p.285
It’s too bad that my little gear in the system has been jammed beyond belief; it’s too bad that I am still in those crosshairs. Maybe once the ammo runs out, I’ll be able to whisper, "I forgive you."

11 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

It takes a while. Sometimes a lifetime. Sometimes more.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Regrettably, the only problem I have with Amy Fisher is that seven years after writing her book she stooped to Joey Buttafuoco's level by appearing on Celeb Rehab. But hey, at least she's working.

Cheri said...

Sometimes you keep stumbling upon more ammo because that person is too stupid to fix the hole in her own pocket.

the walking man said...

You have to forgive yourself first Jim, then you can move on to the others.

Anonymous said...

The amunition will be running out soon enough and you are already looking and feeling much better. Those pearly whites are going to get you into someones elses cross hairs. Keep dancing and enjoy life. Moving targets are hard to hit. Hucks Gang

JR's Thumbprints said...

TWM,

I have forgiven myself for giving my all; I just need for someone to quit selling me as "mentally ill" because it's not true.

Erik Donald France said...

In response to the last sentence, why am I imagining the musing voice of Tony Soprano quipping, "Maybe"?

Anonymous said...

Pretty soon you will be celebrating
"The Barefoot on the Porch Incident" with Huck and his gang.
Time for some RC on the rocks.
You know whose got the mental problems. Put someone else in the crosshairs and post the report.
MW

JR's Thumbprints said...

The psych-eval report will be revealed soon enough; I'm keeping it in a safe place. It's truly sad to see all the lies, but then again, I'm glad to see that the psychologist saw through it all. Unfortunately I'll be "horriblized" for however long it takes for someone to understand otherwise.

Anonymous said...

"Gazambas" Yeah, Yeah, that's what it's all about. Had a hell of a time on the raft last night!! You would have enjoyed it. UlU Huck :)

ivan@creatiewriting.ca said...

While in hospital recently, a cute nurse hearing of my past embroglios, said, "Oh, stop grieving. You were in Mexico. You were having fun.
"Your wife had no sense of humour."

Oh, if it only had been that simple.

I would offer, James, in my naive way, that you still have the strength of a thousand men because your heart is pure. You didn't do nuthin'.

As for us old sinners,

"Ah, Faustus,
Thou hast one more hour left to live
And then thou shalt be damned perpetually...
"Stand still you ever-moving spheres of heaven, so that time may cease."

Talk about adult entertainment, and we it's tickeholders!

Sometimes the gander can be a real honk.