CATFISH TALK

There are, and there are not, situations, predicaments, hassles, aggravations, or just plain happenings that I’m willing to tolerate. The occasional serial murderer roaming the school hallway: I’m okay with that; the under-medicated schizophrenic staring out my classroom window while conversing with no one: Fine by me; or the false accusations on prisoner grievance forms suggesting I be fired effective immediately: Is that the best you can do?

But here’s what I never signed up for: 1) The Lansing State Journal publishing my name and salary in their paper because they felt the public had “a right to know” and 2) The Michigan Department of Education providing my age to potential employers so they can decide whether to interview me. Do you think Michigan’s Governor Snyder, otherwise known as “One Tough Nerd,” thinks revealing such information is okay?—and if so, perhaps he’ll suggest that the private sector follow suit or suffer the misery of higher taxes. Fat chance.

Some folks may argue that that’s the price you pay for being a public employee. Freedom of speech becomes freedom to target … FYI becomes the right to personal information. Look, I’m told, Governor Snyder no longer makes his own decisions regarding his investments because he wants transparency in government. Am I that gullible? Are the Chinese? Maybe we have something in common with the Chinese; maybe we don’t have a choice anymore.

And now, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, along comes Spokeo. “We’re not your grandmother’s phone book,” they advertise. So I checked-out their website, I typed in my name and hit return, and said, “Hot-diggity-damn!” Joe Q Public has access to my home address, phone number, approximate house value, and wife’s name, and get this: for a small nominal fee Spokeo will reveal much more. Just what I need: some ex-felon with an ax to grind (physically, if not metaphorically) sitting on my front porch. Fortunately I had the option of removing my personnel information from their digital phonebook. Insert one finger in the dike, no “Wiki-Leak” here. There’ll be more holes to fill, I’m sure of that.

For all you facebookers out there, I strongly recommend the documentary “Catfish.” Go rent it ASAP! Deactivate. Reinvent. Reactivate. It’s all good! Mustn’t be complacent like live codfish exported to China. We need more catfish to keep us agile.