"Cheaper than water," the clerk says, eyeing my oversized hoodie and salt-encrusted headband. I chuckle. And then he asks what he always asks, "Is there anything else I can get for you, Boss?"
That's right. I am the boss. He works for me. Everyone needs that kind of reassurance now and then. Cool. Really Really Cool. I'll take it. Makes me feel special. I rock the headband.
I'm like Gary Reindel, John Jeffire's fictional character from the '80s.
Gary Reindel needs a little reassurance now and then. He has a trophy wife, Corry, and they live in a condo overlooking Lake St. Clair. Gary works for his dad's Detroit car dealership, Reindel Motors, and Corry at a t.v. station alongside her main workmate Phil Toms.
Gary's got insecurities. He's damaged. His wife defined their relationship, her pre-marital powers of suggestion confused Gary. Jeffire writes:
"'Love the one you're with,'" Corry said. "Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Yeah, that's it, Gair. Exactly, exactly what I was saying. You get it then. Great band, too."
During his childhood, Gary's dad taught him how to Man-Up:
...Chuck Reindel, The Duke of The Deal, told his son to finish the fight with the boy without crying or he'd give him something to really cry about ... so they fought again. Again, Gary lost miserably, blood flowing eagerly from his nose and his mouth, but as much as he wanted to cry, he didn't. Lesson learned.
And when adult Gary gets called away from Marina Painter, a customer service rep for Reindel Motors, his dad emasculates his son by questioning his whereabouts and slapping him.
"If you want to chase middle-aged pussy on your time, be my guest. On my time, though, you work. I pay you to work, not fuck off. You understand?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah?"
A third time the hand came hard.
In order to not feel so woefully inadequate, and to fill the void, Gary wants to be called "Boss." And like myself, he truly wants to believe he is the boss. During Gary's descent into the unknown (his hook up with a young woman named Char) Jeffire writes the following internal dialogue:
He's the goddamned vice president of acquisitions for Reindel Motors. His wife was hot. She worked with Phil Toms. His side woman was even hotter. Char was looking at him. He needed to regroup.
Heck, I need to regroup.
John, cool story bro. You fit the criteria for "Cool." I'm looking at you, "Boss."
Reference: "Boss" by John Jeffire, Coolest American Stories 2022.
https://www.coolestamericanstories.com/
2 comments:
That is one hell of a review there JR
Thanks, Mark. With more time to read & write, I'm trying to blog a bit. Also, I have a deeper appreciation of your poem, "Failing the Test" from The Line Between.
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