It sounds horrid—bone marrow test—drilling into ass cheek
and extracting fluid from the center of skeletal hip. Still, it’s not all bad. No
different than my reading parts of Marlin Marynick’s memoir while sitting in
Beaumont Hospital’s waiting room, a sort of self-help book where he befriends
Charles Manson; It’s “uplifting” actually. The author suffered from bouts of
depression due to his mother’s suicide yet snapped out of it during his career
as a registered psychiatric nurse. He writes:
Many people tend to
live in anticipation, agonizing over what may happen next in their lives,
obsessed with that over which they have no control. In simplest terms, people
suffering with anxiety are consumed by thoughts of the future. Those
overwhelmed by depression often dwell too much on the past. Of course, some
find themselves tossed back and forth between the two, preoccupied with the
past, in constant dread of the pending. --“Charles Manson Now” p.77
It’s interesting how Marynick sets out to find a
connectedness to all kinds of people, even those that are considered “evil” or “repulsive.”
His motive for writing the book is more of a self-discovery; he makes it clear
one-fourth of the way through his memoir:
I wanted to write
about people’s connections to one another, how important those connections are,
and how their dissolution directly influences depression. Because it’s been my
experience that the pain a person experiences during depression is really the
ache of being separated from the whole—life, love, God, whatever you want to
call it. p.102
Earlier in his book he hypothesizes:
There is often truth
to madness, and mental illness is largely the process by which people attempt
to make sense of their relationship with their environment. P.61-62
Then, before I’m called into the post-op, I study Charles
Manson’s words:
I don’t think we
should gang up on people. That’s why we got courts, that’s why we got laws,
rules, and regulations for our survival. Any time that you don’t give the laws, and the rules, and the regulations to the
most low-life fucking Manson in the world, then what you got is something
coming from the will of God because the laws are made for survival. P.96
… and then realization sets in
…and I leave
…and more to come regarding mentally-ill prisoners, Charles,
... and yes
... me.
12 comments:
I would think a bone marrow test is worse than reading that memoir. And I’m a bit confused. Did you have that test? If so, I hope you’re okay.
I am one of those who suffer too much anticipation of a future I can't control. Can't seem to get a handle on it.
There is no future and the past is gone, a vapor and a puff just memory. What you hold onto right now, right at this moment is how you determine your "connectedness."
So what's with the bone marrow look see? Is it for your own health Jim or someone elses?
Charlie's right: "The laws are made for the low-life fucking Manson's of the World" because without those laws the weak wouldn't have a chance. Stay strong JR; the weak will be judged just like everyone else, doesn't matter how victorious on this earth they feel.
Just to do a sidebar, much has been made of Charlie Manson's IQ.
It is really quite modest, about l23, just barely into the superior range, and possessed by most high school graduates, including this one.
To make Manson a genius?
And oh yeah. The realization.
I want to leave too.
Ivan, "Leaving" is a common theme amongst men, especially when we as men are forced out, and Beth, my grandmother died not too long ago of bone cancer but I am not "Leaving" any time soon, and Charles, my prayers go out to you and your wife (you two as a couple are never far from my mind when I blog).
Jeff M says: I read the book by the prosucuter: Helter Skelter back when it was first put out and found it (him,Chucky boy) to be just pure evil. It gave me the chills then and still does now to think about what Manson was like. He is a scumbag that used drugs and sex to manupulate the weak...nothing more nothing less. Yeah he comes up with witt and wisdoms to say. Anyone who has nothing but time to read would. He deserved to die then and still does...It's the fear of the unknown that shows a human's faults...Keeps humans in check or makes them followers...If everyone had no fear of the future, then the world would be overrun with leaders doing their own thing...nice blog Jimbo. J
TWM, my "connectedness" is deep within the marrow of my bones.
Jeff, what's interesting about the book is how the author heals himself by dealing with a variety of mentally ill inmates and Charles's take on the prison environment is something that I am way too familiar with. As for "Helter Skelter," I too have read the book and understand your viewpoint. Consider this: leaders come in many shapes and form, even independent divorce attorneys who can lead their clients away from their families.
Huck Said, "Do you spell that with two o's or just one? :)
I also spend way too much time worrying about the future.
Huck's Gang heard you ain't got no
"BONE" problems. Must be the double
oo's...Enjoyed the read. :)
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